hello!

i'm billy, also known as:

permanently
@submitting, on discord
soc analyst (yes, you might be able to hire me for your cyber security team)
that single guy who has a cat (radio rizz)
that guy who harasses bbc radio 1's phone lines just to be on air or have my name read out (not joking)
superior owner of billys.mom
the one that goes to insomnia fests with a doge mask every year to harass a specific youtuber
lover of fasthosts
^{(yes, they'll know i sent you since they love me so much. yes, you
will get a one month free trial. and yes, i'm legally required
to say this is a referral link, and may earn me a commission of at
least one smooch on the mouth.
t&c's apply. the smooching part isn't in any legally binding contract, that was
just word of mouth.)}

now, you may be thinking, "but billy... what have fasthosts got to do with this?" oh boy, don't even start me. it's almost like a romantic story. fasthosts and i, we could re-enact romeo and juliet, except there'd be no weird age gap and i'd be in love with a company rather than a person. _{this is still weird isn't it}

a while ago, i had seen somewhere fasthosts were going to be at insomnia. nothing too big, just a person and a company that were going to be in the same place at the same time. oh boy, let me tell you. when i saw them in person, it was like someone swept me off my feet. my heart pounded for their spinny wheel they had to redeem free domains, and their free t-shirts. OH THE T-SHIRTS. LET ME TELL YOU.

i shyly approach, and say...

e-excuse me, but i'd *whispers to self* weawwy x3 wike *screams* t-to spin the x3 wheew fow a fwee domain!!1 may i!?!!11eleven

sure, the guy with the beard gives me a weird look, but i think that's cos he was also shy. he lets me spin, and boom... free domain.
but that wasn't enough.
i couldn't just leave with a free domain. i wanted to remember fasthosts forever.
so i went back. i asked for a shirt.

AND I GOT THE SHIRT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE COOL

fasthosts, if you see this, pls let me know where i can find you at next insomnia bc i'd love to pop by and harass you, just for a little bit

wow, i really went on that tangent about fasthosts, huh? i really just like them. the cream to my crop, the petrol to my car, the shawty to my bae... sorry, getting distracted again

srsly tho do go check them out they are lovely little people, and quite honestly it's an interaction with a company that i will absolutely not forget

as for i, if you need to contact me or just want a little stalk, then click here

email

[email protected]
^{[email protected]
will also work}

mastodon

@[email protected]

discord

@submitting

carrier pigeon

just tell him "i'm looking to contact the alpha male", it'll know who you're talking about.

as a closing statement, please look at this joke i posted that i find really funny (this would have banged on my 2018 twitter account if i were still relevant)